Death
In the Vedic tradition, On the 13th day of mourning, it’s common for the grieving family to hold a ceremony (‘preta-karma’) where they perform rituals to help release the soul of the deceased for reincarnation. Preta also, means the spirit of a dead person before the post-mortem obsequial rites are completed. It is believed that the soul of a deceased wanders as a preta and does not take rebirth, that is, it does not attain guti, according to its karmas, till the prescribed rites are performed.
The essence of one who has left their body is felt the strongest in the days after their passing. And for me, that was most certainly the case. It felt as though valuable information was coming through and I spent my first ten days in complete silence, mourning, crying, letting the emotions pass through me, listening to him, speaking with him, writing about him and about us. Had I spent that time distracting myself rather than feeling the full spectrum of the pain and everything it brought to me, I might have lost some big learning opportunities.
Here are the things I did to deal with the pain of passing of the most beloved one.
Allowing myself to feel the full spectrum of the pain. No work, no money, no job, just found myself on the couch crying all day. Occasionally I allowed myself to go into long memory journeys.
Writing in my journal every day. The lessons that came through during the initial days of immeasurable pain were profound. Never again will I feel the pain of his loss with that intensity again. Those are precious life lessons
Inquiry. I started my inquiry about death in these days and it was the easiest to really understand such an esoteric subject. I referred to ancient Vedic knowledge and Tibetan texts to understand the various stages that the soul of the deceased passes through and what loved ones can do to help with its transition into other realms. Had I not read these very important texts, I would’ve probably spent most of those days in a selfish state of mind, with no regard for what people we love go through after death. Death is not the end. And we, as those who still have bodies here, can do a lot to help our loved ones on their journey into the beyond.