The Power of Acceptance

I experienced physical abuse at the hands of my partner when I was in India during my photography-related travels. It sent me into a state of shock first, for I had never been assaulted by a man before and then into a state of heartbreak. I decided to leave him. And when I did, he tried to kill me. I took off to Mumbai, to my parents’ home to heal from the trauma before I could return to LA. In Mumbai, I found myself getting shamed. For still being in love with a man who had hit me. As if an incidence of physical abuse could end a deep love I had shared with my partner of one year.

I went to Los Angeles and stayed with Jeffrey and Pamela. On a walk in the Huntington Gardens one day, Jeffrey asked me calmly, “Do you still love him?” I nodded. “Do you want to go into therapy with him?”

The question shocked me. The idea that someone was okay with me returning to my abusive partner was strange. It made me go inward and reflect, rather than put me in a state of shame and denial. After thinking, I told him. “No. I can’t go into therapy with him. He doesn’t think what he did was wrong.”

And that was that. I had my answer. On that day, my healing from the trauma began. And I was able to let go of him entirely.

This is the power of acceptance. This is the power of right questions. The people in our lives choose what they do due to their own karmas and their current states of consciousness. By shaming them, we push them away from themselves into a state of denial, from which neither healing nor awakenings can happen. When we accept that everyone is on their own path, only then can we help them heal.

From the series: Love Letters to my Dear Departed Friend